Financial Pressures Outrank Emotions in Canadian Marriage and Divorce Decisions
A new report from BMO reveals that financial concerns play a more significant role than emotions when Canadians decide whether to stay in or leave a marriage. The findings highlight how money — not love — often drives one of life’s most personal decisions.
The Numbers Don’t Add Up
The BMO Real Financial Progress Index surveyed Canadians about the intersection of money and relationships. The results paint a striking picture: 37% of divorced or separated Canadians admitted that financial concerns kept them in a marriage longer than they wanted and influenced the timing of their separation. Meanwhile, 47% viewed marriage itself as a financial obligation rather than an emotional one, and 33% of currently married Canadians said expenses were a recurring source of conflict in their relationship.
“Money is often one of the greatest sources of stress during a separation or divorce, especially when the financial impact is greater or longer-lasting than expected,” said Carol Willes, director of estate planning at BMO Private Wealth. “Working with a financial professional can help individuals understand the bigger picture, reduce uncertainty, and focus on restoring financial stability as they move into the next chapter of their lives.”
Where Couples Clash Over Cash
The study also examined the role of financial compatibility in day-to-day relationship dynamics. Spending habits emerged as a key friction point: 32% of respondents identified spending as a source of conflict, while 36% believed their partner or spouse spends too much on impulse purchases and expensive items. Disagreements over major purchases affected 17% of couples, and 28% said vacation planning caused financial tension.
The Power Imbalance Problem
The survey found that an unequal distribution of financial knowledge and control often complicates money discussions within relationships. Sixty percent of respondents said their partner or spouse was the more frugal party, while 54% described themselves as financially dependent on their partner. Additionally, 41% admitted their partner or spouse understood financial planning better than they did — a gap that can make honest conversations about money even harder.
Honesty and Planning Are the Best Policy
Anthony (Tony) Tintinalli, Head of Specialized Sales at BMO, emphasized that proactive communication is essential for couples navigating financial pressures.
“While building a life with a special someone can be a journey filled with joy and hope, concerns about affordability can present some challenges that complicate and even overshadow the romantic elements of a relationship,” Tintinalli said. “Early and honest conversations about money, building emergency savings, and seeking professional advice can help couples better prepare for the interactions between financial realities and life’s biggest moments, protect themselves from unexpected challenges, and make real financial progress at every stage of life.”
Steps Couples Can Take
The survey offered several practical recommendations for managing financial pressures within a relationship. These include coordinating spending styles early on, setting clear expectations for major financial decisions, maintaining transparency about financial responsibilities and levels of trust, planning shared goals while staying flexible, and building resilience into financial plans to weather unexpected setbacks.
